So its Tuesday after an extreemly eventful weekend and past week.
Lets back the truck up to early last week - Monday to be exact. Monday I had picked up my camping chairs from Martin's place, the last of my things and his things we had left to exchange since we had decided to no longer spend time together as friends, due to it proving to be extreemly difficult for me to accept the reality of everything (
Even thou I tried several times).
Early that week as well, I had a date scheduled in Saint John for Frday, as the week progressed on I felt that it was a mistake to be heading to Saint John for a date being as thou I ended a brief relationship I did have in SJ because of the travel primarilay. However the week continued to present me with opportunity. I met a law student who seemed extreemly kind, intelligent and well on his way to do great things in life. So we set up a date for Friday!
Mid way through the week, I had a wave of kindness and decided to offer a place for Brendan (
My ex of 2 years) and Jamie (
The new guy he's seeing) to stay while they visited Moncton for the weekend. Many people offered their opinions and told me I was setting myself up for issues. That however proved to be the best decision of the week I made! We had an awesome weekend, a million laughs and reminiscing about the past. It was great! I've also made plans to spend a day in St. Stephen on my next week of Vacation.
So Friday arrives, I had my date with the law student. He was a great guy, but physically really didn't appeal to me. However, the night went on and became late so he ended up staying over. (
Notable mistake 1) I also had made tentative plans to see him again, maybe I could learn to like him.
Saturday I was kicking around apt awaiting the arrival of Bren and Jamie, and decided to log into some of the personal sites. Low and behold the opportunities continued again! I got a message from someone who recgonized me from being at the bar once. We chated briefly and realized we both were planing on going out that evening and we'd likely see eachother at the bar, and he offered to buy me a beer when he did see me. Great, WONDERFUL even! Saturday continued, Bren and Jamie arrived we kicked around town for a while. Visited AE, the Pump House for some Blueberry ale and then off to see Crystal and hang out in Ghetto town for a bit.
After some pre drinks at my place the three of us ventured over to Navigators for a beer because we were tired of my place then stumbled up to the bar. The evening continued we danced, chatted and laughed a lot more. I kept my open for the offer for beer. It eventually presented itself around 1am, and I was even more pleasently supprised in person. After a long chat, some dancing we all decided to head back to my place in the rain of course. A wee bit intoxicated myself and the offer for beer fell asleep and awoke mid morning on Sunday.
The 4 of us went to the Homestead for breakfast and the laughs continued it was going extreemly well. That afternoon Bren, Jamie and I headed to see the Simpsons movie and the offer for beer went home for a nap and encouraged me to call him later on.
After the movie, and after I said my farewells to Bren and Jamie as they hit the transcanada I gave Mat a call (
Oh Mat would be the offer for beer - I thought I would give him a name) We decided we'd go for a drink just the two of us that night, an actual date! This is where I learned where he grew up, about his family, more about him... The fact he had three degrees and was only 26! One of those being a law degree............. The light went on and I didn't know where to go so I left my mouth closed.
We went back to my place after some drinks and chatted for a few hours, being both tired from the previous night we decided to throw the towel in and Mat went home and I hit the bed to prepare for my Monday back at work.
Monday I decided to post a few photos of the evening on Facebook, which included a few of Mat and I on my couch Sunday morning.... (
Notable Mistake 2)
Later Monday evening - My MSN messages started flowing, facebook sent the notice to all my friends I had posted pictures, everyone LOVES to look at pictures and creap into others lives for a short while!! Guess what, not only were Friday night and Saturday night law students together, but they were childhood best friends.
G-R-A-N-D! That seiously blew up in my face, and the guilt trip began. I was okay with Friday night being angry with me as I wasn't extreemly interested, although I felt like an ass for hurting him (
Very unintentionally I might add!) However Mat, or Saturday night, offer of beer admitted he had been interested in me but no longer was as I wasn't honest with him, big let down, but so is life.
Monday night I sat and thought long and hard what to do, I debated phoning Martin, as he has been my confidant in these situations for the past many months. But I resisted, I removed all my profiles from any personal sites where I had posted. I realized I have been looking and searching too hard for "That perfect person" I am spending too much effort on it.
That brings us to Tuesday; where I was still pretty much feeling like a large ass this morning. So I composed a very long email to Martin explaing my situation and that I just needed to talk. Of course, as sweet and kind as he is he responded with his opinion, I felt slightly better, but also realized I crossed a line backwards.
So that brings me here - To a blog, which will be my new forum to talk endlessly about my concerns to the world for those who wish to read.
WHAT A WEEK/WEEKEND - Is all I have to say, its time to do a reality check and focus on things other then "Mr. Right" if he arrives, great! If not, I am not going to spend hours looking for him right now!
